The Four Greek Words for Love: Eros, Philia, Storge and Agape Explained

The four Greek words for love are eros (ἔρως, passionate, romantic love), philia (φιλία, the affection between friends), storge (στοργή, the natural fondness of parents and children), and agape (ἀγάπη, a selfless, giving love that the New Testament made famous). That's the short answer, and it's a good one to remember. The longer answer is more interesting: the ancient Greeks never sat down and made a list of four loves. The neat set of four is a modern way of sorting real Greek words, and each word has a richer, messier story than the one-line summaries suggest.

This guide walks through each word the way a good dictionary would. You'll get the Greek spelling, a simple pronunciation, what the word actually meant in classical and New Testament Greek, the related verbs and adjectives, and where the extra "love words" you see online (ludus, pragma, philautia) really come from. Every definition here was checked against the standard scholarly dictionary of ancient Greek, the Liddell-Scott-Jones lexicon (usually shortened to LSJ), and Bible word counts were checked against a Strong's concordance.

One note before we start: this is a language page. It's about vocabulary, not about which kind of love you "should" have. If you want the sweet words people actually call each other, our guide to terms of endearment is the place to go.

The four Greek words for love at a glance

Here's the cheat sheet. The pronunciations are simple English-style guides to the traditional way these words are said in English-speaking classrooms. Modern Greek pronounces some vowels differently, which we'll cover later.

Word	Greek spelling	Say it like	Core meaning	Classic example of use
Eros	ἔρως	AIR-ohss	Passionate love, longing, desire for someone or something	Romantic longing in Greek tragedy; Plato's Symposium
Philia	φιλία	fee-LEE-ah	Friendly love, affectionate regard, friendship	Aristotle's discussion of friendship
Storge	στοργή	stor-GAY	Natural affection, especially of parents and children	Family love in Greek comedy and later prose
Agape	ἀγάπη	ah-GAH-pay	Love, esp. the love of God for people and people for God; charity	1 Corinthians 13, the "love chapter"

Each of these has a matching verb, and the verbs are often older and more common than the nouns. That's a clue that Greek speakers thought about love as something you do at least as much as something you have.

Where the idea of "four loves" comes from

If you read Plato or Homer in Greek, you won't find a passage that says "there are four kinds of love." Ancient writers used these words side by side, overlapped them, and sometimes swapped them. So where did the famous list come from?

The biggest single influence is the British writer C.S. Lewis. His book The Four Loves was released on July 27, 1960 by Harcourt, Brace, according to the Kirkus review of the book. Lewis called his four loves Affection, Friendship, Eros and Charity, and he also traced two threads he called Need-love and Gift-love running through all of them. His chapter names are in English, but readers have long matched them to the Greek words storge, philia, eros and agape. That pairing is how most people first meet the "four Greek words."

The second influence is 20th-century theology and philosophy. The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy entry on love explains that philosophers often sort love into eros, agape and philia. It notes that the Swedish theologian Anders Nygren described eros as "love of desire," a love that wants something, and agape as "spontaneous and unmotivated," a love that doesn't depend on the value of the person loved. That sharp contrast between eros and agape became a staple of sermons and textbooks.

So the list is real Greek vocabulary arranged by modern hands. Knowing that helps you avoid a common trap: treating the four words as strict, separate boxes. In real Greek texts, they overlap a lot.

Eros (ἔρως): passionate love and longing

Greek: ἔρως (erōs). Say it: AIR-ohss. Related verb: ἐράω (eraō), "to love, to be in love with."

Eros is the word for passionate, romantic love. The LSJ entry for ἔρως gives its main sense as "love," mostly of romantic passion, and cites the Greek tragedians Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripides. In Euripides' play Hippolytus, for example, the phrase ἐρῶσ' ἔρωτα means something like "loving with a love," a doubling that shows how strong the feeling is.

But eros wasn't only about people. LSJ also gives the sense "love of a thing, desire for it." Aeschylus uses it for a longing for one's homeland, and the historian Herodotus uses it for a man's burning wish to rule Greece. So eros could mean any intense longing: for a person, a place, glory or knowledge.

Eros the god

With a capital letter, Ἔρως is also a name: the god of love, whom the Romans called Amor or Cupid. The shorter Middle Liddell dictionary lists this proper-name sense with examples from Sophocles and Euripides, and notes that early epic and lyric poets used the older form ἔρος (eros with a short o). When you see a winged boy with a bow on a Valentine's card, you're looking at the descendant of this Greek figure.

Eros in Plato

Plato's Symposium is a dinner-party dialogue in which each guest gives a speech in praise of Eros. According to the Stanford Encyclopedia, Socrates argues that attraction to physical beauty should grow into an appreciation of a person's soul, and finally into a love of Beauty itself. That's the origin of the English phrase "platonic love," which today usually means a close, non-romantic friendship. It's a big shift from Plato's own point, which was about eros climbing upward rather than disappearing.

What eros is not

Eros is often described online as "the bad love" or "mere attraction." That's not how Greek speakers saw it. In poetry, eros can be sweet, painful, noble or overwhelming. Plato treats it as a force that can lift the soul. The negative spin comes mostly from later theology that set eros against agape.

One more fact worth knowing: the noun eros doesn't appear in the New Testament at all. The New Testament writers used agape and philia-family words instead. That absence is part of why agape became the "Christian" word for love.

Philia (φιλία): the love between friends

Greek: φιλία (philia). Say it: fee-LEE-ah. Related words: φίλος (philos), "dear, beloved; a friend," and φιλέω (phileō), "to love, to be fond of; to kiss."

The LSJ entry for φιλία defines it as "affectionate regard, friendship," and adds that it's usually between equals. LSJ also notes that the writer Xenophon contrasts the philia of the soul with eros, and that the word can mean family affection, the loyalty of followers toward a leader, and even friendship between cities or states. The shorter Middle Liddell puts it neatly: philia is distinct from eros the way Latin amicitia (friendship) is distinct from amor (love).

Philos: a word for the people you hold dear

The adjective φίλος may be the warmest word in the whole family. In Homer, it means "dear, beloved," and it's used of friends, family and even your own heart or life. LSJ notes that the Odyssey uses κουρίδιος φίλος, roughly "wedded dear one," for a husband. As a noun, φίλος means "friend," and φίλη is a female friend or dear one. If you've ever wondered why so many English words start with "phil-," this is why.

Aristotle's three kinds of friendship

The most famous ancient discussion of philia is in Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics. As the Stanford Encyclopedia entry on friendship explains, Aristotle (in Book VIII) sorts friendships into three kinds: friendships of pleasure, of utility, and of virtue. Friends of pleasure enjoy each other's company. Friends of utility are useful to each other. Friends of virtue love each other for who they are, for their good character, and Aristotle treats this as friendship in the fullest sense.

Here's a simple way to picture the three. Imagine two coworkers who grab lunch together because it's handy (utility), two people who meet every week to play music because it's fun (pleasure), and two old friends who'd show up for each other no matter what because they admire each other's character (virtue). All three are philia. Aristotle simply thought the third kind was the most complete and the most lasting, since it doesn't fade when the convenience or the fun runs out. These examples are illustrative, not from Aristotle himself.

The same entry points out that philia was broader than our word "friendship." It originally meant "a kind of affectionate regard or friendly feeling" and reached beyond friends to family members, business associates and one's country. That's worth remembering when people say philia means "just friends." For the Greeks, it covered a lot of warm, loyal attachment.

Philia in the New Testament

The noun φιλία appears in the New Testament only in James 4:4, which the King James Version renders "the friendship of the world is enmity with God." LSJ cites this very verse. The verb φιλέω is much more common, and we'll look at a famous passage that uses it below.

Storge (στοργή): family affection

Greek: στοργή (storgē). Say it: stor-GAY. Related verb: στέργω (stergō), "to love, feel affection for."

Storge is the quiet one in the group. The LSJ entry for στοργή defines it as "love, affection," and especially "of parents and children." One example it quotes comes from the comic poet Philemon, roughly: a father is a sweet thing to his children, if he has storge. LSJ also lists inscriptions using it for the affection of loyal citizens, and a letter on papyrus that speaks of holding on to one's "constant affection" for the person addressed. It adds that the word is "rarely" used of romantic love, mainly by the poet Meleager.

The verb stergō has a surprising second meaning

The verb στέργω shows how the Greeks thought about this kind of love. It's used of the love of parents and children, of a people for their ruler, of brothers and sisters, of friends, and of husbands and wives. But Middle Liddell gives another sense: "to be content or satisfied, acquiesce," and even "to bear with" or "put up with" something. That fits storge perfectly. It's the comfortable, accepting love you feel for the people you live with, the kind that says, "You're mine, and I'll put up with your quirks."

Storge-words in the Bible

The noun storge isn't used in the New Testament, but a compound of it is. In Romans 12:10, Paul uses φιλόστοργος (philostorgos), "loving tenderly, affectionate," which the King James Version renders "kindly affectioned one to another." The word combines philos and storge, and LSJ notes it was often used for family affection, including in Xenophon and Theocritus.

Agape (ἀγάπη): the love the New Testament made famous

Greek: ἀγάπη (agapē). Say it: ah-GAH-pay. Related verb: ἀγαπάω (agapaō), "to love, to treat with affection; to be content with."

Agape is the word most people mean when they talk about "unconditional love." Its history is surprising. The LSJ entry for ἀγάπη lists its first sense as simply "love," and the dictionary's supplement adds that it was originally used in a non-romantic sense but later took on some romantic meaning. Its early examples come from the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Hebrew Bible. In the Song of Songs, it's used for romantic love between lovers, and it can even mean "loved one." Ecclesiastes 9:1 pairs it with its opposite, "love and hatred." It's also used for the love between husband and wife.

The second sense is the one that made the word famous: "love of God for man and of man for God," plus "brotherly love, charity." LSJ cites Romans 5:8, 2 Corinthians 5:14, Luke 11:42 and 1 Corinthians 13:1. In the plural, agapai meant the early Christian "love feasts," shared community meals mentioned in Jude 12.

How often agape appears

According to the Strong's entry for ἀγάπη (G26) at Blue Letter Bible, the noun appears 116 times in the Greek New Testament and 15 times in the Septuagint. The King James Version translates it as "love" 86 times and "charity" 28 times. That's why 1 Corinthians 13 reads "charity" in the King James Version ("Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity...") but "love" in most modern translations. The Greek word is the same, agape. English "charity" comes from Latin caritas, the word the Latin Bible used for it.

The verb agapaō is older than the noun

Long before the New Testament, the verb ἀγαπάω was ordinary Greek. LSJ says it appears once in Homer, in the Odyssey, meaning "greet with affection." Plato uses it in the Republic to say that poets love their own poems and fathers love their children. The verb also had a practical sense: "to be content with" or "well pleased with" something. So when Greek speakers said agapaō, they could mean anything from deep affection to "I'm satisfied with that."

The related adjective ἀγαπητός (agapētos) means "beloved," and LSJ notes it was used especially of an only child. It later became a standard way to address readers in Christian letters: "beloved."

Is agape really "unconditional"?

Agape as "unconditional love" is a later theological reading, not a built-in dictionary meaning. As the Stanford Encyclopedia notes, the meaning of agape came "mainly through Christianity" to refer to God's love for people and, by extension, love between people. Nygren's idea that agape is "unmotivated" love shaped the modern definition. In older Greek, the noun was simply one more word for love, and in the Song of Songs it's plainly romantic.

The verbs: how Greek speakers said "I love"

Nouns get all the attention, but verbs show how people really talked. Here are the main Greek verbs for loving, each checked in LSJ or the shorter Middle Liddell.

Verb	Greek	Say it like	Meaning	Noun it goes with
eraō	ἐράω	eh-RAH-oh	To love, be in love with; to long for	eros
phileō	φιλέω	fee-LEH-oh	To love, be fond of, treat kindly, welcome a guest; to kiss	philia
stergō	στέργω	STER-go	To love (esp. family); to be content with, put up with	storge
agapaō	ἀγαπάω	ah-gah-PAH-oh	To love, treat with affection; to be content with	agape

Notice two things. First, phileō can mean "to kiss," which shows how physical and warm the philia family of words could be. Middle Liddell gives the example of welcoming a guest into your home: "welcome shalt thou be in our house." Second, both stergō and agapaō carry a sense of being "content with." Love, in these words, includes acceptance.

A famous example: John 21

The best-known place where these verbs meet is John 21:15 to 17, after the resurrection, when Jesus asks Peter three times, "Do you love me?" According to the Strong's entry for φιλέω (G5368), the first two questions use ἀγαπάω, while Peter answers with φιλέω each time. On the third question, Jesus switches to φιλέω. English translations usually say "love" for both, so the switch disappears.

Readers have debated this passage for centuries. Some see a meaningful difference between the two verbs. Others think John simply varied his vocabulary, as Greek writers often did. Either way, it's a great example of why knowing the vocabulary matters: two words that look identical in English are different in Greek. The same Blue Letter Bible entry notes that φιλέω appears 25 times in the New Testament and is translated "love" 22 times and "kiss" 3 times.

Beyond the four: ludus, pragma, philautia and more

Many websites now list "the six (or seven, or eight) Greek words for love," adding ludus, pragma, philautia and sometimes mania. These lists mix real Greek words, Latin words and modern labels. Here's what each one actually is.

Philautia (φιλαυτία): self-love

Greek: φιλαυτία. Say it: fee-lau-TEE-ah. This one is genuine Greek. LSJ defines it as "self-love, self-regard," and adds that in a bad sense it meant "selfishness." It's built from philos plus autos ("self"). Interestingly, the Roman writer Cicero used the Greek word in one of his letters, and the Jewish philosopher Philo of Alexandria used it in the negative sense. So when modern lists call philautia "healthy self-love," they're picking one side of a word the ancients often used as criticism.

Ludus: a Latin word, not a Greek one

Latin: ludus. Say it: LOO-dus. Ludus is Latin, and it means "game, play" (it can also mean a school or training ground). It shows up on "Greek love" lists because of a modern psychology theory, described below, which borrowed it as a label for playful, flirtatious love. There's no ancient Greek word for love spelled ludus.

Pragma (πρᾶγμα): a real Greek word that didn't mean love

Greek: πρᾶγμα. Say it: PRAHG-mah. Pragma is real Greek, but in LSJ it means "deed, act," "matter, affair," or "thing," from the verb πράσσω, "to do." It's the root of English "practical" and "pragmatic." The ancient word never meant "practical, long-lasting love." That meaning was given to it in the modern era.

Mania (μανία): madness

Greek: μανία. Say it: mah-NEE-ah. Middle Liddell defines it as "madness, frenzy," as well as "enthusiasm, inspired frenzy" and "mad passion." In Plato, a kind of divine madness can be part of eros, so the link to love isn't random. Still, on its own, mania means madness, not a type of love.

Where the extra words come from: John Alan Lee's love styles

The extra labels come mainly from the Canadian sociologist John Alan Lee, whose 1973 book Colours of Love described six "love styles." Psychologists Clyde and Susan Hendrick later built a questionnaire on his model, published in "A theory and method of love" (1986) in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Lee's six styles are eros, ludus and storge (his three "primary" styles), plus mania, pragma and agape (the "secondary" styles, each thought of as a blend of two primaries, like mixing colors on a color wheel).

So when you see "ludus" and "pragma" on a list of Greek love words, you're really looking at Lee's research labels, which mix Greek and Latin. They're useful for psychology, but they're not ancient Greek categories.

Word on modern lists	Language	What the ancient word meant	Modern "love style" label
Eros	Greek (ἔρως)	Passionate love, desire, longing	Passionate, romantic love
Philia	Greek (φιλία)	Friendship, affectionate regard	Friendship love
Storge	Greek (στοργή)	Affection, esp. family	Friendship-based, slow-growing love
Agape	Greek (ἀγάπη)	Love; in the New Testament, God's love and charity	Selfless, giving love
Ludus	Latin	Game, play; school	Playful, game-like love
Pragma	Greek (πρᾶγμα)	Deed, matter, thing	Practical, "good match" love
Mania	Greek (μανία)	Madness, frenzy	Possessive, anxious love
Philautia	Greek (φιλαυτία)	Self-love; often selfishness	Self-love (popular lists only)

More Greek love vocabulary worth knowing

Once you know the roots, you start seeing whole families of words. All of these were checked in LSJ or Middle Liddell.

• φιλαδελφία (philadelphia), fee-lah-del-FEE-ah: "brotherly love," and in the New Testament "love of the brethren." It's built from philos plus adelphos, "brother." It's also the name of the US city.
• φιλανθρωπία (philanthrōpia), fee-lan-throh-PEE-ah: "humanity, benevolence, kindliness," and in the New Testament, God's love for humankind. English "philanthropy" comes straight from it.
• φιλοσοφία (philosophia), fee-loh-soh-FEE-ah: "love of knowledge and wisdom." Yes, philosophy is literally a kind of love.
• φιλοξενία (philoxenia), fee-loh-kseh-NEE-ah: "hospitality," literally love of strangers or guests. Paul uses it in Romans 12:13.
• ἀγαπητός (agapētos), ah-gah-pay-TOHSS: "beloved." A tender word for an only child in Homer and a standard greeting in early Christian letters.
• φίλη (philē), FEE-lay: "dear one, friend" (feminine). Homer and later writers use it for a beloved woman or a dear friend.

English words with Greek love roots

You use these roots every day. "Philosophy," "philanthropy," "bibliophile" (book lover), "Anglophile" and "audiophile" all come from philos. "Erotic" comes from eros, through French. "Platonic" comes from Plato. "Agape" itself is in English dictionaries, both for Christian love and for the early "love feast."

How modern Greek uses these words

Greek is still a living language, and some of these words are part of everyday romance in Greece today. Modern Greek pronounces several vowels differently from the classroom style above. The letter η (eta), for example, now sounds like "ee," so αγάπη is said "ah-GAH-pee," and στοργή becomes "stor-YEE." Modern Greek also uses a single accent mark instead of the older system of accents and breathing marks.

Modern Greek	Transliteration	Say it like	Meaning
σ' αγαπώ	s'agapó	sah-gah-POH	I love you
αγάπη μου	agápi mou	ah-GAH-pee moo	my love
καρδιά μου	kardiá mou	kar-THYAH moo	my heart
ψυχή μου	psychí mou	psee-HEE moo	my soul
έρωτας	érotas	EH-roh-tahss	romantic love, being in love
φίλος / φίλη	fílos / fíli	FEE-loss / FEE-lee	friend (male / female)

Here's the twist: in modern Greek, agape is the everyday word for love. A Greek couple says σ' αγαπώ ("I love you") to each other, using the agape verb, not the eros one. The word that classroom lists call "spiritual, selfless love" is the ordinary romantic word in Greece today. Modern Greek έρωτας is used for being passionately in love. If you're curious how other languages handle sweet names, our roundup of pet names from around the world has more.

Common mix-ups about the Greek words for love

Because the four-word list is so popular, a few myths come up again and again. Here's how they hold up against the dictionaries.

1. "The ancient Greeks had exactly four (or six, or eight) words for love." They had many words, and they didn't sort them into an official list. The four-word set is modern, shaped by C.S. Lewis, and the longer lists add Latin and modern labels.
2. "Eros only means physical attraction." LSJ shows eros also meant longing for a homeland, for glory, or for knowledge, and Plato saw it as a force that could lift the soul.
3. "Agape always means God's love." In the Greek Bible's Song of Songs, agape is plainly romantic, and LSJ says the word was used for husband-and-wife love too.
4. "Philia means 'just friends.'" Philia covered family affection, loyalty to a leader and even alliances between cities. The verb phileō could mean "to kiss."
5. "Pragma is ancient Greek for mature love." Pragma is Greek, but it meant "deed, matter, thing." The love sense comes from 20th-century psychology.
6. "Ludus is a Greek word." It's Latin for "game" or "play."
7. "Storge is a common Bible word." The noun doesn't appear in the New Testament. Its compound philostorgos appears in Romans 12:10.

Try it yourself: read the love words in a passage

Here's a quick exercise to make the vocabulary stick. Take each English sentence below and decide which Greek word fits best. The answers follow.

1. "She missed her home island so much it hurt."
2. "They've been close since college and would do anything for each other."
3. "Grandpa grumbles about the dog, but he'd never let anyone take it away."
4. "He helped a stranger without expecting anything back."
5. "They fell for each other the moment they met."

Answers: (1) Eros, in its sense of longing for a place, like Aeschylus's "love of the fatherland." (2) Philia, Aristotle's friendship of character. (3) Storge, with a nod to stergō's "put up with." (4) Agape, in its New Testament sense of charity. (5) Eros, the classic romantic sense.

There's no single correct answer for some of these, and that's the point. Greek writers blended these words all the time. The categories help you think, but real love rarely stays in one box.

Using Greek words as nicknames

Some couples like using Greek words as private nicknames. "Agapi mou" (my love) is a natural choice because Greek speakers really use it. "Philos" or "phile" can work for a best-friend partner. "Eros" is a fun playful nickname, though you may get a raised eyebrow from anyone who knows the god. If you want to understand why private nicknames feel so special, our article on the psychology of pet names explains the research. For more word ideas, see our lists of words of endearment for her and words of endearment for him.

How we checked these words

Every Greek word in this guide was checked in the Liddell-Scott-Jones Greek-English Lexicon, the standard dictionary of ancient Greek, or in its shorter version, the Middle Liddell. New Testament counts come from Strong's concordance data at Blue Letter Bible. Philosophical background comes from the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, a peer-reviewed reference work. Where a popular claim couldn't be backed by these sources, we said so or left it out.

Pronunciation is the one area where reasonable people differ. English-speaking classrooms usually teach an "Erasmian" style named after the scholar Erasmus, while modern Greeks read the same letters differently. We've given the classroom style for ancient words and the modern style for modern phrases. Either way, you'll be understood.

Wrap-up: four words, many shades of love

The four Greek words for love are eros, philia, storge and agape, and each is a real word with a long history. Eros is passionate longing, philia is loyal friendship, storge is easy family affection, and agape grew from an ordinary word for love into the New Testament's word for God's love and charity. The extra words on popular lists, like ludus and pragma, come from modern psychology, not ancient Greece.

If all this vocabulary has you thinking about what to call your own person, try our free nickname generator. You pick who it's for, such as a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or partner, choose a vibe like cute and sweet, romantic, funny, flirty, unique or classic, and add optional flavors. Each suggestion comes with a "why it works" note, and you can save favorites to a shortlist or blend two names with the Couple Name Mixer. You'll find more ideas in our guide to couples' pet names.

More Greek Love Words Compared

Beyond the famous four, Greek has other words built on love. This table sets six of them side by side.

Greek word	What it means	Good to know
Philadelphia	"Brotherly love"	In the New Testament, "love of the brethren"
Philanthropia	"Humanity, benevolence, kindliness"	In the New Testament, God's love for humankind
Philosophia	"Love of knowledge and wisdom"	Philosophy is literally a kind of love
Philoxenia	"Hospitality," literally love of strangers or guests	Paul uses it in Romans 12:13
Agapetos	"Beloved"	A tender word for an only child in Homer and a standard greeting in early Christian letters
Phile	"Dear one, friend" (feminine)	Homer and later writers use it for a beloved woman or a dear friend

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the four Greek words for love?

The four Greek words for love usually listed are eros, philia, storge and agape. Eros is passionate love and longing. Philia is the affectionate love between friends. Storge is natural family affection, especially between parents and children. Agape is love in general, and in the New Testament it became the main word for God's love and for charity toward others. The set of four was popularized in modern times, especially by C.S. Lewis's 1960 book The Four Loves, but all four are genuine ancient Greek words found in the standard Liddell-Scott-Jones lexicon.

How do you pronounce eros, philia, storge and agape?

In the traditional classroom style used in English-speaking schools, eros is said AIR-ohss, philia is fee-LEE-ah, storge is stor-GAY and agape is ah-GAH-pay. Modern Greek reads some letters differently. The letter eta now sounds like ee, so agape becomes ah-GAH-pee and storge becomes stor-YEE in modern speech. Many English speakers also say agape as uh-GAH-pay. You'll be understood with any of these, but if you're talking with Greek speakers today, the modern pronunciation is the natural one to use.

Is agape unconditional love?

Agape is often described as unconditional love, but that's a theological interpretation rather than the word's original dictionary meaning. In older Greek, agape simply meant love, and in the Greek version of the Song of Songs it's used for romantic love between lovers. The New Testament made it the main word for God's love for people and for charity toward others. Twentieth-century theologians, especially Anders Nygren, described agape as spontaneous love that doesn't depend on the worth of the person loved. That reading shaped the modern idea of agape as unconditional.

Is eros a bad kind of love?

No. Eros was not a bad word in ancient Greek. The Liddell-Scott-Jones lexicon defines it as love, mostly romantic passion, but also as longing for things like one's homeland or glory. Greek poets described eros as sweet, painful or overwhelming, and Plato's Symposium presents it as a force that can lead a person toward appreciating the soul and beauty itself. The idea that eros is selfish or lower comes mostly from later theology that contrasted it with agape. As vocabulary, it's simply the Greek word for passionate love.

What is the difference between philia and storge?

Philia is friendly love: affectionate regard between friends, usually equals, though it could stretch to family, business partners and even alliances between cities. Storge is the natural affection of family, especially between parents and children. The verb stergo also meant to be content with or put up with something, which captures the easygoing, accepting quality of family love. Aristotle's famous discussion of friendship in the Nicomachean Ethics uses philia, while storge shows up more in descriptions of parents, children and household life.

Are ludus and pragma real Greek words for love?

Not really. Ludus is a Latin word meaning game or play, not Greek. Pragma is a real Greek word, but in the Liddell-Scott-Jones lexicon it means deed, matter or thing, and it's the root of English practical and pragmatic. Both words reached love lists through the sociologist John Alan Lee, whose 1973 book Colours of Love used them as labels for love styles. Psychologists Clyde and Susan Hendrick later built a questionnaire on Lee's model. They're useful research labels, but not ancient categories of love.

Which Greek word for love is used in John 21?

In John 21:15 to 17, Jesus asks Peter three times whether Peter loves him. The first two questions use the verb agapao, and Peter answers each time with phileo. On the third question, Jesus switches to phileo. Most English Bibles translate both verbs as love, so the change doesn't show in translation. Readers have long debated whether the switch carries special meaning or is just stylistic variety, since Greek writers often varied their word choice. Either way, it's the best-known passage where two Greek love verbs appear side by side.

How do you say I love you in Greek?

In modern Greek, I love you is s'agapo, written σ' αγαπώ and pronounced roughly sah-gah-POH. It uses the verb from agape, which is the everyday word for love in Greece today. A common term of endearment is agapi mou, meaning my love, pronounced ah-GAH-pee moo. Other sweet phrases include kardia mou, my heart, and psychi mou, my soul. So the word English speakers often treat as purely spiritual love is actually the ordinary romantic word that Greek couples use with each other.

Where does the idea of four loves come from?

The best-known source is C.S. Lewis's book The Four Loves, released in 1960 by Harcourt, Brace. Lewis wrote about Affection, Friendship, Eros and Charity, and readers have matched those to the Greek words storge, philia, eros and agape. Theologians and philosophers in the 20th century also often contrasted eros, philia and agape. The ancient Greeks themselves didn't make a fixed list. They used these words, and many others, flexibly, so the neat set of four is a modern way of organizing real Greek vocabulary.

Sources

We checked every source below while writing this guide. Last reviewed October 30, 2026, by Joan Ramos.

1. Love (Bennett Helm), Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Stanford University)
2. Friendship (Bennett Helm), Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy (Stanford University)
3. ἔρως, A Greek-English Lexicon (Liddell, Scott, Jones) (Perseus Digital Library, Tufts University)
4. φιλία, A Greek-English Lexicon (Liddell, Scott, Jones) (Perseus Digital Library, Tufts University)
5. στοργή, A Greek-English Lexicon (Liddell, Scott, Jones) (Perseus Digital Library, Tufts University)
6. ἀγάπη, A Greek-English Lexicon (Liddell, Scott, Jones) (Perseus Digital Library, Tufts University)
7. G26 agapē, Strong's Greek Lexicon (Blue Letter Bible)
8. G5368 phileō, Strong's Greek Lexicon (Blue Letter Bible)
9. The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis (review) (Kirkus Reviews)
10. A theory and method of love (Hendrick and Hendrick, 1986), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 50(2) (American Psychological Association)